Nostalgia, January 31, 2009

                What is nostalgia? Back to my good friend Webster, nostalgia isa wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition. I have seen it, nostalgia that is; grow a lot in our generation. I see it in everyday pop culture, fashion and music and ideas. I am not here to mock people yearning to return to a time in their life’s that may be simpler. I am just simply questioning the importance of relying on the ideals of those that came before us.

What was once popular in the times that we now call nostalgic, are still as vibrant as they once were in their hay day. People still listen to the music of Hendrix, Joplin, The Beatles, for what? Yes it is amazing music. But I wonder why we cling to the past? Are we afraid of the future? Or just don’t know how to make a culture of our own?

 I have come to this conclusion. We all want a second chance. We need that time in our life that passed us by to come back again. We need to remember the good memories. Remembering our past is living, and we all want to live more. So yes, I agree with this generation of nostalgic recollection. We even have the same ideologies of past leaders. Walk down the street and I will bet you, that you will see at least 10 people wearing a Che Guevara shirt, or even more prevalent is the recognizable face of Bob Marley. All want to be revolutionist, anarchist and rebels and leaders in their own respect. Granted all those mentioned above are enormous influences in every generation. But do we need to “borrow” the ideologies of others because we are afraid or not sure of our own impact on humanity? If any.

                “Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” A wise man once said. But is repeating the past even that avoidable? Our mothers and fathers were once the rebels, anarchist, and revolutionaries that we aspire to be. And they also stood up to their parents the same way we do. We share the same fights, and have the aptitude to fight for what we believe. So I say yes. Live just like the past; continue the traditions and customs that our ancestors continued themselves. But always remember that there is a tomorrow, and we can only deepen the footprints of old, not create our own. That is, if you want to.

Baseball, January 30, 2009

                With pitchers and catchers reporting in just under two weeks, my little boy persona has gone into hyper drive. Well, all things considered, I think I constantly live life like a 12 year old! Needless to say I love baseball! Again, I know I love stuff too much, I know, and I am working on it! Now I am not your typical baseball fan, I didn’t play much as a kid. I wish I did. No, my old man had me playing good old soccer. Don’t get me wrong I loved playing me some soccer, but I really wanted to play some ball on the diamond field rather than the rectangle one. I only played about a year and a half (half a season because, the old man signed me up for spring soccer, long story, won’t get into it). But I loved those short few months of lacing up the cleats and heading to the sandlot. Oh yes, that is right, a real life sandlot.

I was very fortunate to have an old dirty field behind our apartment complex. Good times my friends, good times were had. As I have, and I am sure that every little boy has seen the movie The Sandlot over 300 times, that WAS my summer once upon a time, and it was heaven. Waking up wearing the same dirty jeans you played in the day before, and trying to keep my old used glove from falling apart, by tying it with shoelaces. The best part was playing quick pickup games with local kids that would make teams up just to try and beat us. Yes, we were that good! I was the pitcher. Move over Nolan Ryan and Randy Johnson, my “speedy”, that’s what I called my fastball, mowed down hundreds!

And if you know me, I need not tell you who my team is. And all I have to say is that there is no more next year, because it is now! I will shave my head if we don’t win it all this year. I am tired of us getting the shaft from every sportscast and channel. And I say WE because naturally I am part of the team. Oh, what, you didn’t know that? Oh well let me fill you in, as a true fan, I am an honorary coach, pitcher, catcher, outfielder, infielder, bench coach, bat boy, fourth string second baseman in the minor league team, and so forth. And with such duty, it is my responsibility to control every movement of the team and reprimand every mistake the coaches make. And may GOD have mercy on the umpire that makes the worse call in the history of human sports!

 Baseball is our sport. We live every pitch and hold our breath at every swing. We love to hate to do the “wave” and we love to sing “TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME!” Now as a fan I ask all of you to continue our duties as bleacher bums, and prepare for this year’s onslaught on our enemies. And I mean the outfielders. You know where we sit; you know that right fielder that we just love to heckle! Prepare your lungs and catchy chants. Study them. Learn their weakness and when it comes time. We will attack. But only if we are winning cause then it is even more fun!

I ask all of you to go to at least one baseball game this year, no matter your team. Take your gloves. Your binoculars. Radios. Pens to get autographs. And be ready to eat nachos, peanuts, hot dogs, and plenty of beer (soda pop for you little leaguers). And maybe some ice cream, but only after the 7th inning, and if your team is up, thats just federal law. And for god sakes, NO FRUIT! And the only veggies that are allowed in the stadium are pickles (yes I know it’s a fruit lay off), jalapenos and potatoes. Buy your foam fingers, your cotton candy, and crackerjacks. Let’s Play Ball!

Money January 28, 2009

                I could go ahead and try and lie to you, but that would be a grave distortion of my integrity, and just plain rude. But I hate money. Yes, to all my readers, I said HATE! Mark the calendar! I will now stride away from my normal idealism and all things good and tender kind of attitude and lay an all out siege on my biggest enemy; the all mighty dollar. And to be even more frank, I am in some big time debt, but hell, who is not in some sort of debt these days? And no I am not going to get into the whole economy issue that we are going through, well maybe a little.

                Just look at your own life. It matters not if you are a millionaire or down to your last 10 bucks, your life revolves around money. You wake up in the morning to go to work, to make money. Go to the store, to spend more money. You argue with your wife, husband, girlfriend or boyfriend about money. Global business survives on it; our very livelihoods depend on it. Money is that one thing that we have in life that we never have enough of, but always want. Our uncontrollable greed steers us towards the addictive drug that is money.

                Since the primitive form of society, money has demanded that we live the way we live. Can you possibly think of life without some sort of currency surrounding it? It is hard to think of what we would do without repaying something to someone for something they did for us. God forbid we do things out of the pure benevolence of our greedy hearts. But I really am more realistic than what I seem to be. I know that nothing in the life we live is free.  But that is our own fault. I blame myself, but I blame you too. This modern era that lingers over our generation, the need for that new gadget. We need that new pair of shoes. We need to have the best in everything. And yes I am guilty too of living beyond my needs; I will be the first to admit that. I hate myself for it.

                I hate that I have cried for money. I hate that I have suffered so much over money. I hate that for my lack of money, my life has changed, not for the better, but for always the worst. I hate that a small piece of paper with a picture of a dead president controls my life. Now, don’t get wrong, I am not saying that I need money to be happy, I am happy with whom I am without it. But, it would make things so much easier for me. That is what I would like to hope anyway.

Do I need to succumb to the almighty dollar? Regrettably, today I must say that I have to. As you can tell, I am in a somewhat depressed mood today (I got some outrageous bills). But that is what this Chateau is for, to vent, to think and ponder. To plan and to learn. So what have I learned? I really don’t know. I am humbled, and also angry, to the fact that for once in this blog; I have come upon a subject that I really can’t find an answer to. All I know is that my life would be better, at least a little, with a bit more confidence in my bank accounts and wallet.

I don’t know why or how I can live without the need of money. But I know I will LIVE if I don’t have it, I mean I am living now. But it is the substance of life that we wish to live that determines our greed. I would like to think that I can live in a world with little to satisfy me. I wish I can say that I can live completely without money. How many treasures can I keep? How many things can I desire? Sweet temptation, please leave just leave us alone.

It’s Electric! January 21, 2009

                You know, lately, I have been talking a lot about the many breathtaking elements that this life has to offer to all of us. And I am NEVER one to think of how much life sucks. How life brings all of its ingredients to one pivotal point in time and creates life. Who knows how many different ingredients it takes to make you and me? Your neighbor, your friend and your enemy; who knows? And who cares? It is like eating at a fast food restaurant and not caring how the food is made, only caring that it tastes so good. And as I have said before, there has to be a reason for everything, a reason to hope for more. The fact is that people are what they are for a reason. And they tend to act how they act for the same reason. That reason may not be in our lives working as a prime motivator, but if you look back and hard enough you can find it.

                But in reality, we are the same. We are all born in this same earth, and breathe the same air. All made from the same things. All filled with the same emotions. Is it really cultural differences more than it is cultural similarities? I find myself smiling when I see a culture not the same as mine, that has its similarities to my own. And it makes me happy. Happy to know that, if I could travel across the world, I could laugh and cry with a complete stranger. I am glad that there is someone in this world that is not like me. I know who I am, at least I think I do, and I want to learn who others are.

                I remember I went to a conference in the Midwest a few years ago. A conference that brought people from all over the world, to one place, to share and learn from each other. I was amazed to see how alike we all are. How much I related to a high school senior from Germany, and how he compared to a worker from Iran. It all came to fruition, when at this conference there was a dance (great times by the way!) and kids from all over the United States, Germany, Iran, Asia, Africa, The Middle East, and all other corners of the world, new the same dance to a song! Its funny how music works doesn’t it?

                I guess what I am trying to say is that; you should not shun the next foreigner you come across. Because they are not as different as you or I. They too are just people, living each day. Doing what they do to live.

 All you really need to do to understand them, is take them to the nearest bar, buy a pint and put on the Electric Slide! World peace at last!

I Welcome The World. January 26, 2009

        I have spoken a lot about love and cultural ambiguity in this here blog. And I want to add to my loves, for those of you playing The Chateau D’if home game add another one to the list! I have lived most of my life in southern California. I have studied many things and have experienced many emotions and feelings. I have seen all of what this part of the world has to offer to me. I have loved it and I know it well.  But what I want, what is most important to me, is my need for more knowledge. I want more to see and more to live. I grave to see the world and learn all that it has to give. I want to meet the world. I desire to shake the hands of every person and hear their story. Because that is life to me; to see the many colors and hear the diverse sounds, taste all the flavors and smell all aromas. I love all of life’s randomness. I am a strong believer in introducing people to other people and introducing myself to others. I think I have a pretty good memory and love remembering different people and where I have met them. If I had my way I would introduce everyone in the whole world to each other. This being my meager attempt to create world peace, hey if could work, why not?

There is no need to understand others, their nationalities, cultures or believes. No need to become an expert in each variety of life.  I just need to respect what they are and what they do. Respect is the rudimentary concept of human fulfillment. Respect is created from tolerance and respect can one day become love. And you know what I feel about love. I can never really understand what people truly are. I can only learn to love what they do.I love history and the roots that have grown deep into every culture and person. 

I have learned to leave myself and inhibitions vulnerable to what roots grow under my feet. I want all of them to just climb up my leg and infuse my entire way of being.  It more than just this pure want to have a vacation, which I just happen to be wanting very badly these days, it is more than that. It is something that fills me, something more than sitting on a beach having a beer, oh man that sounds good right now! But no! It is more than that. I think it is pure unadulterated envy. I hate knowing that there are billions of different places to be and I can’t be at all of them. Or I will never be able to. I wish I lived in the times of old when it was expected for a man of my age to travel and see the world. That was education. Seeing the world was your Cultural Diversity Humanities class. Sign me up.

I look at what the rest of the world has to offer, and it is more than what my little corner of California has. I see magic. I see wonders that equal more than the great 8, or is it 9 now, I can never keep track. The thing is that I leave myself open to you world! Here I am, waiting for the invitation to explore, feel and love all that you have to offer. Bring it on. Sooner better than later if you don’t mind!

I Believe. January 25, 2009

                I was listening to some Podcast that I subscribe to, and I heard this great story. Seven-year-old Tarak McLain was born in Thailand and lives with his family in Austin, Texas. He collects and hands out food to the homeless and raises money for orphans and impoverished schools. For a school project, Tarak’s Teacher asked him and his class do bring something into class that had to do with the number 100, in honor of the first 100 days of school. Others in Tarak’s class brought in 100 buttons, 100 cans or 100 stickers. Tarak brought in a list of 100 things he believes. Here is 30 things that Tarak believes from his list. While reading, ask yourself what you believe and just keep reminding yourself, this kid is only 7! Enjoy.

I believe life is good.

I believe God is in everything.

I believe we're all equal.

I believe we can help people.

I believe everyone is weird in their own way.

I believe hate is a cause for love.

I believe that when I meditate I feel peaceful.

I believe we should be generous.

I believe brothers and sisters should be kind to each other.

I believe kids should respect their parents.

I believe I should not whine.

I believe people should wake up early.

I believe people should go outside more.

I believe in nature.

I believe people should use less trees.

I believe we should help the Arctic and rainforest animals.

I believe people shouldn't throw litter on the ground.

I believe people should not smoke.

I believe God is in good and bad.

I believe in magic.

I believe people should not give up.

I believe love is everywhere.

I believe that God helps us to have a good time.

I believe we live best in a community.

I believe we can protect people in danger.

I believe we should help the poor.

I believe it's OK to die but not to kill.

I believe war should not have started.

I believe war should stop.

I believe we can make peace.

 

Please. January 20, 2009

                This is something that happened to me a long time ago, in a place not too far away, but in a time of which the innocence of youth ruled together with its own ignorance. So I beg your patience in my humble indulgence in the past.

Let us just talk about it for a second! I mean come on take a good look at what I am going thru here! We guys have every emotion and sensitivity as women do. Now hold on and stay calm! Will you just LISTEN and stop jumping to conclusions! I love you, why can’t you see that? You are all that I have. Please please please please please please please please please please please please; just love me as I love you. Ok let me set the record straight and I also want to get a few things off of my chest. I just need to know where this relationship is going and whether or not this change that you keep promising me will ever come. I feel that this thing that we have is one sided. I am left out of your life and that I care and love you too much to do anything about it. Maybe because I love you so much I am blind to what I may be doing to you, I just don’t realize it. I am sorry, for everything that I could have done to hurt you once again. But I just need to know that all of this love that I have for you is not in vain, I have no doubt that you love me, I mean you say you do. But I just don’t feel loved. Maybe you don’t express it the way I want or once again I am too blind to see it. But I don’t feel that I have a girlfriend anymore, just not the way I use to feel. That feeling that I had once is nothing but a miniature memory that I experience again in my mind and sub-conscious. I relive it in my dreams every day and night. That one memory that I long to relive in my heart, once more. I experience ease in my body by withdrawing my attention from the outward sensations and letting them rest in my empty heart. I survey the panorama of existence with the divine eye and look cognizance of the brightness of beings.

IF YOU LOVE ME, WHY DO YOU MAKE ME SUFFER?

Based on a true story- originating circa 2004

Me and History. January 20, 2009

 I am not the man I expected myself to be when I was a kid.  Much like any other 10 year old boy I had considerably high expectations to become a man with many different talents, even giving old DaVinci a run for his money. If had I lived up to those expectations to this point of my life, I would have cured cancer, walked on the moon, won an Olympic gold medal, been voted President of the United States, and of course mastering the art of flying  like superman. Several birthday cakes later, I came to realize that the world I live in today is more complex than what it appeared to be in my earlier days. A life complexity that needs more understanding, and to find that understanding I have tried to value and discover on my own. Some times that understanding is more complex than the actual lesson you are trying to learn, but I use my experience, as small as it may be, to teach myself many things that I come across in life. Yes much like Leonardo before me, I would consider myself an independent “self learner.” I am sure good old Leo would have used a far more eloquent title, but formalities aside, I love teaching myself new things. If its years of practicing my guitar playing, or teaching myself how to drive a “stick shift” car, a big accomplishment in my world by the way.

 It is not that I refuse or distrust others to teach me things; I welcome new teachings with open arms and eyes. It is that I prefer to develop different opinions and views in different areas, without any outside influences. I have a great sense of satisfaction when I figure something out by myself. It is a sense of pride, not only for me, but pride in knowing that my mom is proud of what I have done. If it was not for her, I would most likely not care so much to learn. Compared to my childhood expectations that I had for myself, if I had lived up to my mother’s by now there should be statues of me outside every building and complete peace on earth. For in her eyes, my birth was the greatest anybody had seen in nearly 2,000 years, or so I would like to think. My siblings will tell me otherwise. 

 And as I sit here today, in my living room watching history unfold with the inauguration of President Barack Obama. And I too stand here humbled along with the President, by the task that stands before this historic administration. Political views and skepticism aside, I feel hope in America. You could see it in the eyes in all those that witnessed this event. And I too see it in the eyes of our new President. And I wish him the best of luck.

And seeing his hope, gives me hope. Knowing that I can live up to my own expectations as well as my mothers. All I do and say is important to some extent. And what I do for my future is of some significance. It is because the culmination of all human intelligence and wisdom is contingent to these words: Wait and Hope.

Death and Life; January 19, 2009

I originally wanted to write this as two separate posts, but I think that it would do more justice if I combined the two. So life and death, a pretty sacred topic, but for the Chateau D’if nothing is ever off limits. Death is a part of life, which all human beings experience. I wish I can say that death is easy and simple to explain as one person’s life coming to an end. I wish I can say that death will never come to the ones we love, but I can’t. I also wish that I knew what happens after our own demise, but I can only assume and hope. It is pretty hard to even assume what it is going to be like when I die, it really is a mind trip. It crosses all philosophical, religious, physiological fields because in order to understand what death is we have to understand what life is, and that in its own is a vast conjecture.

We “deal” or “handle” death all very differently. But one emotion is pretty universal, we cry.  We express our utter sorrow for the ones that we have lost. We know we will never see them again, or be able to hear them laugh again. We remember the good things about them, and try to forget the bad. But we all know that death is a hard fact of life to deal with. But we that live, use death, we use it to our advantage in our own lives. We use the personalities and recollections, and the mistakes of those in the past, to look to our futures. To help ease the pain that we know must eventually come to all of us.

We use this past reflection to strengthen our resolve. To understand that life is what it is, and should not be forgotten. We learn a valuable lesson of lives vulnerability. And what is life? Is it just a culmination of events that take place before death? Is it this existence that defines our creation? I really hope not. You see, I am a bit more cheerful then what I seem to be. I see life as our reward for living. If that makes any sense. An award given to us by, whoever you want to believe gave it to us. I love life, I love what it gives us and I miss what it takes away. We live our lives very differently, we don’t live it like a fantasy, we live it as our reality. Life does not suck.

We must realize that death revolves around life and life revolves around death. “We must live as if there is no tomorrow”, no that old axiom must never be spoken hence forth! We must live because there IS a tomorrow. We have to have that hope; hope that there is a meaning to all of this, that there is better. And that we have a purpose for doing what we do, because as humans we need an explanation for everything, even life. It is not good enough for us to think that we are just here out of a whim in the complexity that is cosmic nature. Do we just ask ourselves, “does it get any better than this?” a loaded question if there ever was one. But we are here, and there is better, I have hope that there is better. Call it greed if you want, but life is incredible, and I want more of it. But we are here. We are here to live. That is what life is my friends. Human beings, being human beings; living every day, just to get by. Doing what we do to live they way we live. Life is full of wonders that need assimilation, inclusion into our souls. For if we do not take what this life has to offer, we cannot take those memories and feelings of joy with us to where ever death may take us.

I know, you know, everybody knows that death is a part of life. It’s the big elephant in the room that nobody talks about. You know it’s there, it can show up at any time or place, but you refuse to acknowledge it. Death is…. Well death for me is the reason for living. I must live my life till I can live no more, than and only then will I die. It is not something to be feared, but welcomed as, yes bumper sticker as it sounds, welcomed as life’s next marvelous journey. 

Am lost. January 17, 2009            

                So I have been working pretty hard to get some new fascinating post on here. Some post that will just change the way mankind thinks and forever be acknowledged as the greatest writer of all time. But I am stuck. I literally have 5 different post ideas either half way done or I have written about one or two sentences. I just can’t think of anything right now. Looks like I got a case of the Mondays! Yes I know its Saturday, I don’t care. Call it being lazy or uncreative, I will just wait and see what next week brings. Knowing me, I will come up with a brilliant idea as soon as I post this one and thus rendering this post utterly useless! So in the mean time enjoy this video of the true King of Rock ‘N’ Roll, Chuck Berry and some tool by the name of Keith Richards or something like that! You know my opinion of Music (see below) I am equally in love with playing the guitar. And I just love to see Chuck completely school Keith. The best part is around the 1:30 mark, where Keith screws up for the THIRD TIME and Chuck comes in with the greatest riff ever! IF YOU WANNA GET IT RIGHT LETS GET IT RIGHT! BOW DOWN KEITH TO THE TRUE MASTER! Rant over, thank you.( by the way what do you think of the new layout?)