Before I begin, I would just like to say that today is the best dates of all dates that have been dated. Those that know me know why.
Let me be blunt; I am bored out of my mind. I have been so for the past, oh let’s say… three weeks. Why you may ask? Well for many reasons. One, I live in a very, VERY small town with little or nothing to do. Two, I live in a VERY small town, and know no one. Three, I live in a VERY small town with no T.V.! Need I say more?
I sit in cell for most the day, listening to my glorious music. My music is possibly my life saver at this time of need. I don’t know what is happening in the outside world for the most part. All the “current” events I find are out of the local paper, but that alone only speaks of the current crop report and the new bingo champion Edith, good for her, she deserves it.
I wondered to myself, why do I miss television so much? I remember how much like a zombie I was sitting for hours, if not days in front of that screen. I remember how I long to stay away from the boob tube. To go out and see the world and experience new things, and all that jazz. I still do that here, but laetly I have been wanting to just sit at home, have a beer or four and watch some TV.Is that too much to ask?
I miss relaxing on my couch and watching a baseball game. That was all I needed sometimes to relax after a long day. And believe you me, I have had plenty of long days here in this long lost land.
What more can I say than I am sorry. It has been far too long to since I delved back into this masquerade. Let’s just say I lost my mask and was not properly dressed for the occasion.
I write to you now from a new world. I now live and learn in an upside down world from the one that I once called home.I look around a see new faces of many colors and backgrounds.I see new sights and smell new beautiful aromas.
I have been traveling in a sense for nearly a month. And as the title suggest, I am completely and utterly exhausted. But I have been waiting for this for practically my whole life. I have planned and re-planned, but yet I still find myself as the quintessential deer in the head lights.
Making my way over here has drained me, in many senses of the word; physically, emotionally, financially, just empty. But now I am here. And I am doing what I need to do to get by. I look around and wonder to myself, “How the hell did I end up here?” Never in my live did I think I was to live in a place like this. A place encrusted with history and tradition. Never in my life have I seen so many trees! Trivial I know, but coming from where I come from, it is a bit overwhelming how different everything is just a few thousand miles away from home. I must say that everyone here is extremely kind and welcoming to a lonely new comer, such as me.
So I was wondering about what I should share here in the Chateau, when I thought to myself, “am I still the ‘Prisoner’?” I no longer live in the golden cage that I once did. I am in an essence, free. Should I consider the frustrations of my past to be over and done with just because I have a new address? This is something I still must think about, in my cell of an apartment. But for the time being, and for all purposes of this blog, I shall remain the Prisoner.
In life we come across many beautiful, yet subtle possessions. We pass them by and we either take them in or never think of them again.
In this life we only leave what we could have left. In this life we could only take what we were given. Things come and go, but they don’t ever repeat themselves. If you want, take it or leave it but maybe it won’t return in the same way. You can be seating down or you can be standing and you can walk in life. But the only thing I want in this moment is to move my feet and start to dance. Sometimes I am sad sometimes I am happy, sometimes normal. But as I come and go, it is this life that I prefer to be in. It is because that is how it is
I know nothing of this life, all I know is that right now, at this moment with these two feet I am going to dance. That is the way it is. Listening to this music brings peace. Moving my feet makes me calm. Even if I am left all alone dancing by myself, I can realize that love can happen thru dance.
Dance in this explanation means a lot of things. It means the actual physical movement of one’s body to a rhythm of dance. It is letting go of all inhibitions and just doing it. Dance can be your rock climbing, playing your guitar, writing a poem or punching a wall.
That is the way it is, that is the way it should be.
I have talked about this before. I will talk about it for more years to come. Death.
Today we were all left taken aback, if not in shock of the passing of the great musician, Michael Jackson. Not only did we lose, the king of pop, we lost another icon, Farrah Fawcett. It seems like this week as been flooded with bad news. I have a family member living his last days, now today.
Death will always be there my friends. No one, not the wealthiest or the happiest, can avoid the ultimate cause of humanity. I mention cause, because it is the existence of death that makes us all live. We must realize that death revolves around life and life revolves around death. “We must live as if there is no tomorrow”, no that old axiom must never be spoken hence forth! We must live because there IS a tomorrow. We have to have that hope; hope that there is a meaning to all of this, that there is better. And that we have a purpose for doing what we do, because as humans we need an explanation for everything, even life. It is not good enough for us to think that we are just here out of a whim in the complexity that is cosmic nature.
Do we just ask ourselves, “does it get any better than this?” a loaded question if there ever was one. But we are here, and there is better, I have hope that there is better. Call it greed if you want, but life is incredible, and I want more of it. But we are here. We are here to live. That is what life is my friends. Human beings, being human beings; living every day, just to get by. Doing what we do to live they way we live. Life is full of wonders that need assimilation, inclusion into our souls. For if we do not take what this life has to offer, we cannot take those memories and feelings of joy with us to where ever death may take us.
I know, you know, everybody knows that death is a part of life. It’s the big elephant in the room that nobody talks about. You know it’s there, it can show up at any time or place, but you refuse to acknowledge it. Death is…. Well death for me is the reason for living. I must live my life till I can live no more, than and only then will I die. It is not something to be feared, but welcomed as, yes bumper sticker as it sounds, welcomed as life’s next marvelous journey.
So as we say good bye to Michael Jackson, Ms. Fawcett, we must remember the reason why, they left us, because they had too. The same reason my uncle will leave me soon. The reason we all must say good bye to the sights, smells and music behind. Because we have to.
What is it? How is it? What do you eat it with? I have no clue. All I know is that I can’t read the newspaper or read news briefs without seeing that little blue bird.
This is getting out of hand folks. I have stated my points on social networking, but I don’t even know if this twitter tatter falls under that category. The faith of the Iranian government basically relies on this Twitter thing working. Today the US State Department asked the big shots at Twitter to hold an upcoming site update, so they can stay updated on what is happening with this fraud of an election.
I knew this day would come folks. Hide in the bomb shelter and clear out your bank accounts, because a social network holds the faith of the world.
I tried to learn about this Twitter for a while, and I don’t get it. Isn’t it just an email? Or a text message? I asked a friend that uses Twitter to explain to me the difference and she couldn’t do it. I asked how it is different from an instant message, and she was left speechless.
I just hope this all ends in good things. What those good things are, I could only imagine.
So….. Let’s see, what should the Prisoner talk about today? So many issues, so little time.
So, have you ever been so bored that you find yourself walking to the kitchen and opening the refrigerator door to see what is inside, only to find the same stuff that was there 5 minutes ago, the last time you looked? It’s been my kind of week actually; I know exactly what is in my fridge. I have a half a bottle of ketchup, full gallon of milk, week old salad, and three day old leftovers. Lovely.
I still have that need to change something. I still want to conquer all that is unconquerable. Everest, a meager bump in the road to me. The Sahara, a stroll in the garden. Yes the ever lingering sense of invincibility has filled me this week. Yet I still find myself sitting at home picking my nose and flipping thru the same boring TV channels and watching my usual videos on YouTube.
Ah what to do, what to do. I know… the same thing I do every night Pinky… TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!
May I just indulge in sharing with you all the wonders of music, in video form. I have always preached the complete awesome creation that is music. So I just thought I would share some of my favorites. Enjoy and be open minded.
So after pondering about my question for about a week, what have you all come up with? What is your need for a God or religion in your life? Let me know, I’m dying to know.
Regardless of whether there is an actual God or not, people around the world find it necessary to search for one. Whatever God you believe in, it has instilled something in you that pushes you towards something. This whole bit about religion is just one big mystery to me.
Now, like I said in the last post, I ‘am not here to bash other religions or to prove that God does not exist, I still respect all cultures and people of all faiths. What I am here to do is question the methods of some of these religions. We have raised are children to think like we do, to pray like we did and worship like we have. Now wait you say, Mr. Prisoner, didn’t you say before that you love nostalgia and tradition. Ah yes you are right Mr. and Mrs. Reader, I do still have that thinking, all but about this topic.
Children grow up not knowing any religion other than that of their parents. Children’s minds are diminished to such a small reality, and closed to the great abundance culture that embraces the world. This is why the great bigots of the world, continue to exist.
I obviously have more to get off my chest about this, but I plan on writing about this for years to come.
So just let me end with this. No matter what you believe or God you follow, please know and understand, that a lot of others do not think like you do. They respect your believes and you should respect what they believe.
So basically what I am asking the world to do is shake hands and forget about all the stupid differences. Is that so hard? Oh and stop coming to my door at 7 in the morning on Sunday trying to make me buy some pamphlet. (Yes this whole rant was created by that!)
Ok, I give in. The gloves are now off. Let the holy war now begin.The one topic that I have always been tentative to speak about, knowing full well what the fallout will be, Religion. Let the games begin. My email box is preparing for the overhaul that will come.
Lets me first make this clear, I have no religion. Well, to be completely honest when I was a little prisoner, some guy in a white robe poured some water on my head and mumbled some gibberish, but that is neither here nor there and I don’t practice any religion. I don’t go to church every Sunday, or read any sort of bible or praise any religious relic. Now for those that know me or are frequent readers here, know that I ‘am not that closed minded of a person. In fact religion fascinates me. I love reading of all the amazing stories that all religions have to offer. I respect all religions of the world; I want to make that perfectly clear. I RESPECT ALL RELIGIONS AND FAITHS.
Here is my problem with what some religions, I can’t stand they’re reasoning that their own religion is better than others. My main evidence is this war that has been going on for hundreds if not thousands of years, Jews versus Muslims. Arguing over what? Nothing. Fighting and killing only because one side reads from a different book than the other. Pointless, senseless murder of human life. Almost as useless as Political Parties. But I want get into the war, not yet anyways.
Now, problem two. This one applies to the religion that I’m most familiar with, Catholicism. I grew up around Catholics, being that most of my family claim to be Catholics. Anyway, my problem with this religion is it’s over obsessive greed and self indulgence. It is the richest religion in the world, yet when many of its followers die from hunger every day, where are its leaders to “lead their flock?” do these “men of God” live to serve the righteous and be a voice of God, or do they live to satisfy their own pleasure?
You know what? Looking over my notes here, this is just way too much to cover in one post. I have to come back and make this a tow part post.
But I would like to close with this question for you to think about;
Do we keep religion just because it is tradition, or do we really need religion in our lives?
May 11th Explanation, May 12, 2009 I left a rather half assed post yesterday. The truth is that I have been nervous and in somewhat of an irritable mood today, and to those I wronged today, I apologize.
I feel that I need to explain what today is to me.
Today is “D-Day.” No not the invasion of the European coast 60 years ago, but my own personal day of reckoning. You see, about 5 years ago, I was in a state of great despair from the loss of someone that I thought I was going to be with for the rest of my life. The same someone that I have mentioned a few post back in the Please post.
I made a promise to that person the last day I saw her, I promised to her that if she still cares about me, and still remembers me, to meet me back at the spot we left each other which happened to be a very special place for us, and we were to meet today May 11, 2009. And as I worked, all I did was think of what to do. Should I go? Will she remember? What if she is there? What do I say? So, needless to say, I had my mind rather occupied. I knew this day would come, but every time I thought about I brushed it off like it would never happen. I would think that the 11th would just be skipped and we would move on straight to the 12th.
Why I made the promise? I really have no idea. I guess it was one of those things that we hopeless romantics do to try and make things feel better. I guess I did it to give me hope that I would see her again. I made that promise 5 years ago, and within those 5 years, I have loved again and had been hurt again, but I didn’t not forget that first love of mine or the promise I had made to her.
So I bet your dying to know right? Did she show up? Well after 5 years of wondering, if, it was all for not. I was actually quite a sad sight to see if you would pass by. There I was sitting on the same bench we last saw each other 5 years ago. Very sad, I felt really creepy doing it. But I can’t waver from my strongest attribute, the thought process that has kept me going, hope.I can’t lose hope from everything. But with this, I think I lost. And I am ok with it. I walked away from that bench almost satisfied with what I did. I’m happy to know that I can keep a promise like that for 5 years, if not for someone else, but for myself.
So in the end, was it the right thing to do? Maybe. Yes I said maybe, because there is always that one shot.And I don’t regret it. I can go on now, knowing that there is no, what if?
I'm the Prisoner. I write because I can, and because others can read. I write this blog to rant, rave, and scream about whatever I want. I love, I hate, I do stuff. I'm Prisoner34
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