Baseball

Baseball, January 30, 2009

                With pitchers and catchers reporting in just under two weeks, my little boy persona has gone into hyper drive. Well, all things considered, I think I constantly live life like a 12 year old! Needless to say I love baseball! Again, I know I love stuff too much, I know, and I am working on it! Now I am not your typical baseball fan, I didn’t play much as a kid. I wish I did. No, my old man had me playing good old soccer. Don’t get me wrong I loved playing me some soccer, but I really wanted to play some ball on the diamond field rather than the rectangle one. I only played about a year and a half (half a season because, the old man signed me up for spring soccer, long story, won’t get into it). But I loved those short few months of lacing up the cleats and heading to the sandlot. Oh yes, that is right, a real life sandlot.

I was very fortunate to have an old dirty field behind our apartment complex. Good times my friends, good times were had. As I have, and I am sure that every little boy has seen the movie The Sandlot over 300 times, that WAS my summer once upon a time, and it was heaven. Waking up wearing the same dirty jeans you played in the day before, and trying to keep my old used glove from falling apart, by tying it with shoelaces. The best part was playing quick pickup games with local kids that would make teams up just to try and beat us. Yes, we were that good! I was the pitcher. Move over Nolan Ryan and Randy Johnson, my “speedy”, that’s what I called my fastball, mowed down hundreds!

And if you know me, I need not tell you who my team is. And all I have to say is that there is no more next year, because it is now! I will shave my head if we don’t win it all this year. I am tired of us getting the shaft from every sportscast and channel. And I say WE because naturally I am part of the team. Oh, what, you didn’t know that? Oh well let me fill you in, as a true fan, I am an honorary coach, pitcher, catcher, outfielder, infielder, bench coach, bat boy, fourth string second baseman in the minor league team, and so forth. And with such duty, it is my responsibility to control every movement of the team and reprimand every mistake the coaches make. And may GOD have mercy on the umpire that makes the worse call in the history of human sports!

 Baseball is our sport. We live every pitch and hold our breath at every swing. We love to hate to do the “wave” and we love to sing “TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME!” Now as a fan I ask all of you to continue our duties as bleacher bums, and prepare for this year’s onslaught on our enemies. And I mean the outfielders. You know where we sit; you know that right fielder that we just love to heckle! Prepare your lungs and catchy chants. Study them. Learn their weakness and when it comes time. We will attack. But only if we are winning cause then it is even more fun!

I ask all of you to go to at least one baseball game this year, no matter your team. Take your gloves. Your binoculars. Radios. Pens to get autographs. And be ready to eat nachos, peanuts, hot dogs, and plenty of beer (soda pop for you little leaguers). And maybe some ice cream, but only after the 7th inning, and if your team is up, thats just federal law. And for god sakes, NO FRUIT! And the only veggies that are allowed in the stadium are pickles (yes I know it’s a fruit lay off), jalapenos and potatoes. Buy your foam fingers, your cotton candy, and crackerjacks. Let’s Play Ball!