Money

Money January 28, 2009

                I could go ahead and try and lie to you, but that would be a grave distortion of my integrity, and just plain rude. But I hate money. Yes, to all my readers, I said HATE! Mark the calendar! I will now stride away from my normal idealism and all things good and tender kind of attitude and lay an all out siege on my biggest enemy; the all mighty dollar. And to be even more frank, I am in some big time debt, but hell, who is not in some sort of debt these days? And no I am not going to get into the whole economy issue that we are going through, well maybe a little.

                Just look at your own life. It matters not if you are a millionaire or down to your last 10 bucks, your life revolves around money. You wake up in the morning to go to work, to make money. Go to the store, to spend more money. You argue with your wife, husband, girlfriend or boyfriend about money. Global business survives on it; our very livelihoods depend on it. Money is that one thing that we have in life that we never have enough of, but always want. Our uncontrollable greed steers us towards the addictive drug that is money.

                Since the primitive form of society, money has demanded that we live the way we live. Can you possibly think of life without some sort of currency surrounding it? It is hard to think of what we would do without repaying something to someone for something they did for us. God forbid we do things out of the pure benevolence of our greedy hearts. But I really am more realistic than what I seem to be. I know that nothing in the life we live is free.  But that is our own fault. I blame myself, but I blame you too. This modern era that lingers over our generation, the need for that new gadget. We need that new pair of shoes. We need to have the best in everything. And yes I am guilty too of living beyond my needs; I will be the first to admit that. I hate myself for it.

                I hate that I have cried for money. I hate that I have suffered so much over money. I hate that for my lack of money, my life has changed, not for the better, but for always the worst. I hate that a small piece of paper with a picture of a dead president controls my life. Now, don’t get wrong, I am not saying that I need money to be happy, I am happy with whom I am without it. But, it would make things so much easier for me. That is what I would like to hope anyway.

Do I need to succumb to the almighty dollar? Regrettably, today I must say that I have to. As you can tell, I am in a somewhat depressed mood today (I got some outrageous bills). But that is what this Chateau is for, to vent, to think and ponder. To plan and to learn. So what have I learned? I really don’t know. I am humbled, and also angry, to the fact that for once in this blog; I have come upon a subject that I really can’t find an answer to. All I know is that my life would be better, at least a little, with a bit more confidence in my bank accounts and wallet.

I don’t know why or how I can live without the need of money. But I know I will LIVE if I don’t have it, I mean I am living now. But it is the substance of life that we wish to live that determines our greed. I would like to think that I can live in a world with little to satisfy me. I wish I can say that I can live completely without money. How many treasures can I keep? How many things can I desire? Sweet temptation, please leave just leave us alone.