My Dream, What does it mean? February 12, 2009
Ok, two can play that game! My turn to tell about my dream!
Last night I had another one of those dreams that I hate to have. I rarely dream, but when I do, it is either incredibly awesome or overwhelmingly depressing, last night followed the latter. Maybe it is because for the first time in over ten years I do not have a Valentine! And my bitterness of that is showing. But I won’t trouble you with my feeble social life. I had a dream about an old girlfriend (no, not the last one for those of you that know me!), and this woman usually haunts my dreams on a monthly or bi-monthly basis.
A little back ground, we were together for a good amount of time, we loved each other very much and we ended our relationship on somewhat good terms. Needless to say, I didn’t want to let this girl go. Losing her was tough on me, and I wallowed in my typical self misery for a while. She hurt me pretty bad, and it still stings to think about how things ended and what could have been. So I guess my sub consciousness won’t ever let me rest from the memory of her.
Anyway, in my dream I was just sitting on my couch watching T.V., and she walks in my front door with her new boyfriend( I assume it was her boyfriend only because he was a guy and walked in with her, I have no clue what her real boyfriend looks like). Needless to say, I was flabbergasted. But she walked past me as if I wasn’t even there, went up stairs with her boyfriend, into my room and they laid down on my bed. Yes, very random I know. I of course had to follow, asked what the she was doing here, she did not answer and proceeded to make out with her boyfriend. But the strange thing is that as she was kissing him, she was looking at me, not in a way you would expect in this situation, but looking at me, as if she had not seen me in years, and never loved me more, her eyes were always enchanting. It was very unsettling even for a dream.
I yelled at them, to respond to me, but they did not. After what seemed like hours of heart wrenching screaming on my part, they finally both looked at me, stood up, and started to walk out. I followed them downstairs, and out the door. They were about to get into their car when I stopped her by grabbing her arm and asking, “What the hell was that all about?” She smiled and looked like she was going to kiss me, but I looked at her boyfriend who was running at me, I knew, it was officially on! Somehow he was now dressed as a magician don’t know why, anyhow, I took the first swing, hitting his ribs. He then shattered into pieces. I laughed, turned towards her, and she was gone. I started to walk back to my house, and I heard the phone ring, only when answering, waking up and realizing it was my alarm clock.
So, what does it mean? It kills me how I wake up after dreaming of her always feeling like I lost her all over again. I miss her even more, after I wake up. But, after a few minutes in a hot shower and a cup of coffee later, I will have completely forgotten about her. Until next time I dream I guess, until next time. Is it because I miss her, or I hate her, or is it just a bunch of random thoughts? This certainly is a conundrum.
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