Please

Please. January 20, 2009

                This is something that happened to me a long time ago, in a place not too far away, but in a time of which the innocence of youth ruled together with its own ignorance. So I beg your patience in my humble indulgence in the past.

Let us just talk about it for a second! I mean come on take a good look at what I am going thru here! We guys have every emotion and sensitivity as women do. Now hold on and stay calm! Will you just LISTEN and stop jumping to conclusions! I love you, why can’t you see that? You are all that I have. Please please please please please please please please please please please please; just love me as I love you. Ok let me set the record straight and I also want to get a few things off of my chest. I just need to know where this relationship is going and whether or not this change that you keep promising me will ever come. I feel that this thing that we have is one sided. I am left out of your life and that I care and love you too much to do anything about it. Maybe because I love you so much I am blind to what I may be doing to you, I just don’t realize it. I am sorry, for everything that I could have done to hurt you once again. But I just need to know that all of this love that I have for you is not in vain, I have no doubt that you love me, I mean you say you do. But I just don’t feel loved. Maybe you don’t express it the way I want or once again I am too blind to see it. But I don’t feel that I have a girlfriend anymore, just not the way I use to feel. That feeling that I had once is nothing but a miniature memory that I experience again in my mind and sub-conscious. I relive it in my dreams every day and night. That one memory that I long to relive in my heart, once more. I experience ease in my body by withdrawing my attention from the outward sensations and letting them rest in my empty heart. I survey the panorama of existence with the divine eye and look cognizance of the brightness of beings.

IF YOU LOVE ME, WHY DO YOU MAKE ME SUFFER?

Based on a true story- originating circa 2004